It's Like A Party In My Mouth & Everybody's Throwing Up!
In which ElleVee:
- Learns about onions & bees.
- Really liked Scream, & does not want to have to retroactively hate the series.
- Does not endorse the Stretch Armstrong movie.
- Reimagines Macbeth, badly.
- Is terrified of what Burger King hath wrought.
- Manages to connect exercising & saving money with cannibalism.
- Wants Boots of Irony.
- Fears the creature known as ManGaga.
- Thinks most problems in life could be solved by the International Society of Supervillains.
- Is not ass enough to ever question Jackie Earle Haley.
- Drools over Sam Trammell, AKA Sam Merlotte.
- Is perplexed by boob tattoos.
- Understands the nuances of James Bond.
- New Blog Entry: Fandom Rules
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![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif)
elle_vee- July 1st, 2009
- New Blog Entry: Okay. I'm Lost I'm Angry & Um I'm Armed.
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- elle_vee
- July 1st, 2009
Okay. I'm Lost I'm Angry & Um I'm Armed.
In which ElleVee:
- Has a very long-winded excuse for being lazy.
- Secretly wishes there was Watchmen makeup.
- Fears the power of Rush Limbaugh's crazy.
- Admires Dr. Tiller.
- Stresses the importance of proper grammar.
- Refuses to get over her fear of flying.
- Ends up sort of endorsing child abuse, but just the funny kind.
- Needs a sword to fight zombies.
- Sincerely thanks the universe for Robert Downey, Jr. and his arms.
- New Blog Entry: Michael Jackson
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- elle_vee
- June 26th, 2009
- New Blog Entry: Bruce Campbell Can Watch A Season Of '24' In Just 3 Hours.
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- elle_vee
- June 26th, 2009
Bruce Campbell Can Watch A Season Of '24' In Just 3 Hours.
In which ElleVee:
- Imagines a life with Bruce Campbell and alcohol.
- Asks for suggestions for her list of Fandom Rules (email her at elle.veev@gmail.com)
- Can't get over how freaking WEIRD yesterday was.
- Relies far too much on Warren Ellis for normalcy in her life.
- Does not understand this tattoo.
- Has a violence fetish, it appears.
- Wishes whoever wrote Indexed would instruct her on how to live her life.
- Can always depend on Will Arnett to make her life better.
- Appreciates anyone who tells Amazon to screw off.
- Spent time that she will never get back looking at Bruno's hairy bull-penis.
- Loves Nathan Fillion, especially naked and/or in comic form.
- Will pay any amount of money if it means Chris Pine screams.
- Learned about The IT Crowd from her uncle and cousin, who are made of win, in part because they're English.
- Can think of nothing in life that wouldn't be improved by a shiv cosy, and neither can you.
- New Blog Entry: My Food Is Problematic.
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- elle_vee
- June 25th, 2009
My Food Is Problematic.
In which ElleVee:
- Makes fun of River Tam, then begs for her life.
- Can't believe she got an award for writing this stuff.
- Knows that she will be safe from nuclear attack in England, where nothing bad ever happens, ever.
- Is not amused by your shark-bite wetsuits.
- LEGO ZOMBIES LEGO ZOMBIES.
- Did not steal the dinosaur head.
- Needs to wrangle herself an invitation to Johnny Depp's private island.
- Suspects Michael Bay stole an idea from Douglas Adams, which is ILLEGAL.
- Refuses to blow Burger King.
- Supports documentaries about the Doctor.
- Hopes that, because of the recession, everyone starts dressing like the cast of Repo! The Genetic Opera, or Lady Gaga.
- Mourns the illness of Marc Jacobs
- Hates U2.
- Really should have a Hunter S. Thompson tattoo.
- LOSES HER FUCKING MIND OVER THE LIMITED RELEASE OF WATCHMEN IN THEATERS WE ARE ALL GOING.
- New Blog Entry: I'm Not Sure That One Made It Down The Mountain Gob.
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- elle_vee
- June 25th, 2009
I'm Not Sure That One Made It Down The Mountain Gob.
In which ElleVee:
- Would join a religion fronted by Gob.
- Will not be supping at The Hut.
- Would rather be loved by Harlan Ellison than win countless awards.
- Thinks Quentin Tarantino may be losing his Magic Trailer Touch.
- Probably is terribly wrong about the end of the world being like 28 Days Later...
- Wishes Dita Von Teese would just smirk Beyonce into oblivion.
- Posts to an article about Lady Gaga's 'Paparazzi' video, and makes another pantsless joke.
- Thinks our future Car Overlords will be cute.
- Explains, very calmly, why she has to utterly isolated when Watchmen comes out on DVD.
- Kind of thinks a Shipoopi tattoo is amusing.
- Tries to explain her weird love for mayonnaise, but comes off kind of sinister.
- Lists her True Blood loves.
- Needs Fables to be in novel form, YESTERDAY.
- Wants faucet fail.
- Desperately needs someone to explain why Zachary Quinto is falling down screaming while being tailed by a man dressed as steak.
- Wonders if Susan Orlean really GETS Twitter.
- Thinks Patrick Wilson is an angel of mercy sent down from heaven to bring us peace in chaotic times with his dulcet tones and smackable heinie.
- Liked Star Trek back when it was a SHAMEFUL love.
- Makes a cane joke about House.
- Wishes Jon Stewart ran The New York Times for so many reasons.
- Loves Mark Sandford and his BATSHIT.
- New Blog Entry: They Were Little Geisha Dolls With Big Heads That Wobbled!
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- elle_vee
- June 23rd, 2009
They Were Little Geisha Dolls With Big Heads That Wobbled!
In which ElleVee:
- Wishes she was as bad-ass as Inara.
- Appreciates Wikipedia.
- Admires anyone who combines hot tubs, alcohol, and pointless violence.
- Wishes Meryl Streep and Joss Whedon would join forces to save the world.
- Already has Child Protection Services watching out for her future children, due to her conviction that they will play with Rorschach ponies and sleep in Klingon cribs.
- Never trusted Doug Funnie.
- Wonders what qualifications you actually NEED to work for Fox News.
- Despises the internet for inflicting knowledge of Megan Fox's freak thumbs upon her mind.
- Will have the most awesome kitchen accessories in the world, one day.
- Shamelessly posts a naked picture of Hugh Laurie.
- Shouldn't read political posts in the morning, because they drive her to drink.
- Needs to stop reading horror stories about plane incidents.
- Would not date someone who owned penis workout equipment, but would MARRY the man who followed the Tenacious D philosophy of Cock Push-Ups.
- Has dibs on Woody Harrelson for her Zombie Fighting Team of Win.
- Will always have a soft spot for koalas, in honor of Mitch Hedberg, who was too cool for this world, and died in New Jersey, which makes her feel GUILTY, even though she was living in New York at the time.
- New Blog Entry: Mom After All These Years God’s Not Going To Take A Call From You.
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- elle_vee
- June 20th, 2009
Mom After All These Years God’s Not Going To Take A Call From You.
In which ElleVee:
- Continues to wait patiently for Arrested Development: The Movie.
- Will be shocked if Will Ferrell ISN'T cast as Waldo in the abomination of Where's Waldo?.
- Learned today that her reproductive organs prevent her from liking anything cool or fun, and wishes Fiona from Burn Notice would teach the makers of these books a lesson, with VIOLENCE.
- Is marrying someone who she has never met because he somersaulted out of an airplane.
- Is very proud of herself for calmly negating the idea of a Teen Wolf remake, instead of screaming obscenities about dogfucking imbeciles who wouldn't know a good film from an infected rectal wart, because she is a lady of fine breeding and demure manners.
- Is also marrying Zachary Quinto, for more reasons than mere somersaulting, but mainly because she wants a Star Trek wedding cake and if she's marrying him it will seem cute instead of alarming and uncomfortable.
- Wants V to deserve all the love she wants to give it.
- Thinks that Sean Hannity is in love with Sarah Palin, and that their child would be called Damien, and it would be Year One (anyone who gets the reference gets an internet cookie).
- Thinks she deserves sexy minions.
- Would be amazed if Bill O'Reilly could go a whole day WITHOUT lying and destroying her already non-existent faith in humanity.
- Is willing to have her bra explode, for Russell Brand.
- Is pretty sure that cute zombies violate some primal law of nature.
- Wants a baby zombie panda.
- Loves Christopher Eccleston, but desperately wants to get him a new agent who isn't made of Suck.
- Does not lose her mind over the idea of a tarantula in her underwear, although she COULD.
- Understands what you're all saying, and STILL finds the idea of the pilot dying mid-flight to be the scariest shit ever.
- New Blog Entry: Bruce Campbell Doesn't Cheat Death. He Wins Fair & Square.
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- elle_vee
- June 20th, 2009
Bruce Campbell Doesn't Cheat Death. He Wins Fair & Square.
In which ElleVee:
- Is not surprised that Bruce Campbell will save Obama, and America, and the universe.
- Casts a Freakangels movie in her mind.
- Would not like a recession haircut.
- Hates Sex and the City and, by proxy, all fashion that reminds her of that show.
- Wants Alan Tudyk to make everything better.
- Loves TV theme songs.
- Can't help but think only a jock asshole would want their beer cooler to play, I don't know, Metallica.
- Constructs an elaborate back-story behind a Watchmen drawing.
- Likes meat, but does not want a meat tattoo.
- Can find no snark for bacon-filled waffles.
- Does not understand why Warren Ellis does not return her blood-soaked crazy adoration.
- Refuses to follow the directions on soda.
- Wishes Ryan Gosling was always near her.
- Loses all intellect and typing skills over the new Sherlock Holmes poster of Robert Downey, Jr.
- New Blog Entry: It's Toe-Tappingly Tragic!
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- elle_vee
- June 20th, 2009
It's Toe-Tappingly Tragic!
In which ElleVee:
- Apologizes for being so cranky.
- Thinks there is a law against remaking Hitchcock.
- Wants a Star Trek communicator.
- Thinks that reality TV show go away forever and stop bothering her.
- Has a theory that The New York Times is made of fail.
- Tries to point out the inherent flaws of buying something to support DIY.
- Posts nekkid pictures of Bruno.
- Laughs at abortion protestors, which is just ASKING for trouble.
- Won't it be humiliating when all of us are killed by BACTERIA?
- Believes with all her heart that her father would make a booger ball.
- Thinks there is entirely too much fuss over peanut butter.
- Wants zombie mania to infect her.
- Knows that all moose are named 'Walter.'
- New Blog Entry: Also I Can Kill You With My Brain.
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- elle_vee
- June 20th, 2009
Also I Can Kill You With My Brain.
In which ElleVee:
- Wants to dress like a hipster pirate in honor of Lady Gaga.
- Hates and fears cameras.
- Posts pictures of Watchmen stuff, because she loves them.
- Needs to know what this is a tattoo OF.
- Dearly loves the person who invented honey-baked ham cupcakes.
- Doesn't want Pete Wentz anywhere near her damn comics.
- Remembers babysitting without fondness.
- Thinks there should be more melding of Star Trek and Monty Python in life.
- Hates stupid people and thinks that frankly if you're dumb enough to smoke because Wolverine does, you probably DESERVE to be weeded out of the gene pool.
- Is not ass enough to question Roald Dahl.
- Wants to Air Guitar her way into heaven.
- Calls dibs on Zachary Quinto.
- New Blog Entry: Bruce Campbell Puts The 'Laughter' In 'Manslaughter.'
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- elle_vee
- June 16th, 2009
Bruce Campbell Puts The 'Laughter' In 'Manslaughter.'
In which ElleVee:
- Knows enough to never question Bruce Campbell.
- Spends far too much time yelling at CNN.
- Is amazed by Twitter's coverage of the Iranian election.
- Would rather not have mangled people on top of her wedding cake.
- Just doesn't care to pay for Hulu.
- Will link to virtually anything Cory Doctorow deems interesting.
- Plans a barbecuing ORGY this summer.
- Doubts she could make Bill O'Reilly look any worse than he already does.
- Lets the people who were helped by Dr. Tiller speak for themselves.
- Is much more upset about losing her Marlboro Lights than she lets on.
- Is on Team Sam: But If Bill Is Available I'm Sure We Could Work Out An Alternating Schedule, in the True Blood fandom.
- Has found Paris Hilton's vibrator from Repo! The Genetic Opera.
- Now has Real Science to back her up when she gets drunk and starts lecturing on the zombies.
- Ruins caterpillars and butterflies for everyone.
- Really did like The Web Planet episode of Doctor Who.
- Holds a grudge.
- Confuses Rimmel with Max Factor, dislikes Kate Moss, and really just wants to buy a lot more makeup.
- New Blog Entry: We're In The Middle Of Nowhere. Which Is The Safest Part Of Nowhere.-
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- elle_vee
- June 15th, 2009
We're In The Middle Of Nowhere. Which Is The Safest Part Of Nowhere.
In which ElleVee:
- Tries to silence Fry until Futurama is actually ON the air.
- Thinks her words are brilliant and that 'funemployment' is the most evil word of the year.
- Refuses to believe makeup is hurting her, because it is fun and would NEVER betray me like that.
- Tries to explain her fascination/complicated love/hate relationship with Lady Gaga, but really that hair sums it up.
- Does not want ANYTHING crawling around inside her, except radioactive powers.
- Has a sort of psychotic bitch-session over how nothing Watchmen-related happens in New Jersey.
- Will never love a tattoo that raises the question, 'Shading or back-hair?'
- Loves Russell Brand, still.
- Does not plan on eating the marshmallow hamburger, especially because the meat bit looks like an ORGAN.
- Enjoyed free tacos 35 minutes ago.
- Needs to finish True Blood season 1, so she can get on with season 2, and has decided Sam is her favorite, but Bill is a sold second, and tat is VERY HONORABLE.
- Has given up on the Spider-Man franchise
- Loved Up and Ed Asner, and life, briefly.
- Fully expects some sort of hate-mail for this, because it deals with abortion, even if she WAS remarkably neutral, especially for her.
- Takes books and ends up talking about Watchmen and Heroes, which is how most conversations with her tend to go.
- New Blog Entry: One Of You Is Gonna Fall & Die & I'm Not Cleaning It Up!
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- elle_vee
- June 14th, 2009
One Of You Is Gonna Fall & Die & I'm Not Cleaning It Up!
In which ElleVee:
- Formulates most of her opinions based on Firefly.
- Has uncanny recall for movie trailers from the nineties.
- Thinks that there is no crime so great as mowing a public lawn.
- Defends the honor and legacy of Don Knotts, because he was Don Knotts.
- Would never, EVER fuck with J.D. Salinger.
- Wants a Star Trek corset, and DAMN the consequences.
- Still can't decide if she liked Repo! The Genetic Opera because she was drunk and couldn't focus on much beside The Graverobber's Voice and Paris Hilton, which caused her to repeatedly Tweet, 'OMG Paris Hilton!' because she could not remember that she was in the movie.
- Continues mourning over Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles.
- Hates the NY Post.
- Can find better ways to burn calories than twitching.
- Adores crazy ol' Pat Buchanan.
- Cannot believe her species will be eliminated by giant jellyfish.
- Has many ideas surrounding glow-in-the-dark condoms.
- Will make you zombie jelly, if you buy her this mold.
- Wants all furniture to eat itself.
- New Blog Entry: Why Am I Sticky & Naked? Did I Miss Something Fun?
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- elle_vee
- June 13th, 2009
Why Am I Sticky & Naked? Did I Miss Something Fun?
In which ElleVee:
- Apparently delights in making small children cry.
- Can think of few things more terrifying than a giant evil rat that can laugh maniacally as it eats your face.
- Thinks Twilight would have been much improved by mermaids.
- Mourns Nickelodeon Magazine, but ends up talking about Madeleine L'Engle.
- Can find no fault with Russell Brand or his hat.
- Likes fedoras a lot.
- Demands that people from bands in the nineties stop undermining her youth and making overpriced shit clothes.
- Never will argue with Warren Ellis.
- Freaks out in a bad way over Watchwomen.
- Will not tolerate the degradation of Rorschach in any way, shape, or form.
- Does not plan on getting ANYONE'S face tattooed on her body.
- Loves sheep in cookie form.
- Gives you free downloadable comics because she is in a Good Mood.
- Misses coloring books.
