It's Like A Party In My Mouth & Everybody's Throwing Up!
In which ElleVee:
- Learns about onions & bees.
- Really liked Scream, & does not want to have to retroactively hate the series.
- Does not endorse the Stretch Armstrong movie.
- Reimagines Macbeth, badly.
- Is terrified of what Burger King hath wrought.
- Manages to connect exercising & saving money with cannibalism.
- Wants Boots of Irony.
- Fears the creature known as ManGaga.
- Thinks most problems in life could be solved by the International Society of Supervillains.
- Is not ass enough to ever question Jackie Earle Haley.
- Drools over Sam Trammell, AKA Sam Merlotte.
- Is perplexed by boob tattoos.
- Understands the nuances of James Bond.
- New Blog Entry: My Food Is Problematic.
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elle_vee- June 25th, 2009
My Food Is Problematic.
In which ElleVee:
- Makes fun of River Tam, then begs for her life.
- Can't believe she got an award for writing this stuff.
- Knows that she will be safe from nuclear attack in England, where nothing bad ever happens, ever.
- Is not amused by your shark-bite wetsuits.
- LEGO ZOMBIES LEGO ZOMBIES.
- Did not steal the dinosaur head.
- Needs to wrangle herself an invitation to Johnny Depp's private island.
- Suspects Michael Bay stole an idea from Douglas Adams, which is ILLEGAL.
- Refuses to blow Burger King.
- Supports documentaries about the Doctor.
- Hopes that, because of the recession, everyone starts dressing like the cast of Repo! The Genetic Opera, or Lady Gaga.
- Mourns the illness of Marc Jacobs
- Hates U2.
- Really should have a Hunter S. Thompson tattoo.
- LOSES HER FUCKING MIND OVER THE LIMITED RELEASE OF WATCHMEN IN THEATERS WE ARE ALL GOING.
- New Blog Entry: I'm Not Sure That One Made It Down The Mountain Gob.
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- elle_vee
- June 25th, 2009
I'm Not Sure That One Made It Down The Mountain Gob.
In which ElleVee:
- Would join a religion fronted by Gob.
- Will not be supping at The Hut.
- Would rather be loved by Harlan Ellison than win countless awards.
- Thinks Quentin Tarantino may be losing his Magic Trailer Touch.
- Probably is terribly wrong about the end of the world being like 28 Days Later...
- Wishes Dita Von Teese would just smirk Beyonce into oblivion.
- Posts to an article about Lady Gaga's 'Paparazzi' video, and makes another pantsless joke.
- Thinks our future Car Overlords will be cute.
- Explains, very calmly, why she has to utterly isolated when Watchmen comes out on DVD.
- Kind of thinks a Shipoopi tattoo is amusing.
- Tries to explain her weird love for mayonnaise, but comes off kind of sinister.
- Lists her True Blood loves.
- Needs Fables to be in novel form, YESTERDAY.
- Wants faucet fail.
- Desperately needs someone to explain why Zachary Quinto is falling down screaming while being tailed by a man dressed as steak.
- Wonders if Susan Orlean really GETS Twitter.
- Thinks Patrick Wilson is an angel of mercy sent down from heaven to bring us peace in chaotic times with his dulcet tones and smackable heinie.
- Liked Star Trek back when it was a SHAMEFUL love.
- Makes a cane joke about House.
- Wishes Jon Stewart ran The New York Times for so many reasons.
- Loves Mark Sandford and his BATSHIT.
- New Blog Entry: Mom After All These Years God’s Not Going To Take A Call From You.
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- elle_vee
- June 20th, 2009
Mom After All These Years God’s Not Going To Take A Call From You.
In which ElleVee:
- Continues to wait patiently for Arrested Development: The Movie.
- Will be shocked if Will Ferrell ISN'T cast as Waldo in the abomination of Where's Waldo?.
- Learned today that her reproductive organs prevent her from liking anything cool or fun, and wishes Fiona from Burn Notice would teach the makers of these books a lesson, with VIOLENCE.
- Is marrying someone who she has never met because he somersaulted out of an airplane.
- Is very proud of herself for calmly negating the idea of a Teen Wolf remake, instead of screaming obscenities about dogfucking imbeciles who wouldn't know a good film from an infected rectal wart, because she is a lady of fine breeding and demure manners.
- Is also marrying Zachary Quinto, for more reasons than mere somersaulting, but mainly because she wants a Star Trek wedding cake and if she's marrying him it will seem cute instead of alarming and uncomfortable.
- Wants V to deserve all the love she wants to give it.
- Thinks that Sean Hannity is in love with Sarah Palin, and that their child would be called Damien, and it would be Year One (anyone who gets the reference gets an internet cookie).
- Thinks she deserves sexy minions.
- Would be amazed if Bill O'Reilly could go a whole day WITHOUT lying and destroying her already non-existent faith in humanity.
- Is willing to have her bra explode, for Russell Brand.
- Is pretty sure that cute zombies violate some primal law of nature.
- Wants a baby zombie panda.
- Loves Christopher Eccleston, but desperately wants to get him a new agent who isn't made of Suck.
- Does not lose her mind over the idea of a tarantula in her underwear, although she COULD.
- Understands what you're all saying, and STILL finds the idea of the pilot dying mid-flight to be the scariest shit ever.
- New Blog Entry: Asking Someone To Repeat A Phrase You'd Not Only Heard Very Clearly...
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- elle_vee
- June 6th, 2009
Asking Someone To Repeat A Phrase You'd Not Only Heard Very Clearly But Were Also Exceedingly Angry About Was Around Defcon II In The Lexicon Of Squabble.
In which ElleVee:
- Thinks Terry Pratchett should have his own church, and it will be built like a giant tortoise.
- Has accepted her love of bacon.
- Offers advice on how to get the best price for your children.
- Is crazy in love with Russell Brand, and will maybe be making a Sim of him soon.
- Tries to deal with her tempestuous relationship with Urban Outfitters, but MC Hammer pants are NOT helping.
- Likes Shakira, but not really for her music at all.
- Wants to die on a flying motorcycle.
- Will not be forgiving David Tennant for leaving Doctor Who, no matter HOW sexy he looks in glasses.
- Likes the Silk Spectre II Watchmen toy, but does not pretend for one second that she has any interest in ANY toy besides Tiny Rorschach and his Gloves of Love.
- Now has to explain to an 11 year old why threesomes with relatives are unwholesome and frowned upon in most cultures.
- Can no longer defend her home state.
- Laughs endlessly at Happy Toe and Sad Toe.
