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The inside of my head at 12:48 AM: A Conversation Between Two LVs:
Stupid rats are doing stupid fights! Stupid!
You should get some rest.
Yes. Ooh, I should smoke another cigarette, and watch another episode of The IT Crowd, and work on my arm warmers!
That is not sleeping.
My ear is still filled with water. I can feel it sloshing. LIKE THE OCEAN.
I thought you were out of those energy drinks.
THEY ARE LIQUID JOY. My head is sloshy.
You need sleep. You want to see Zombieland. You have writing to do. You have the podcast tomorrow night. It's almost 1:00 AM.
My ear really hurts. And I want to wear my zombie shoes to Zombieland. But no one will GO with me.
You won't go AT ALL if you don't get to bed.
I keep losing count of how many rows I've done on my arm warmers. Why am I not talented?
You barely read the instructions, and you're exhausted. Just go to sleep.
I want a cigarette.
You don't NEED another cigarette.
YOU DON'T KNOW MY LIFE.
Maybe tomorrow less caffeine? And a sleep schedule that roughly resembles that of a normal human being?
THE WATER CAME OUT OF MY EAR! I CAN HEAR! IT'S AN EAR-ACLE! HAHAHAHHA.
This is going to be like the Red Bull Incident. I can tell.
No. Because there is not a Coffee Truck in New Jersey for me to chase. Or a Monster Truck.
You have an addictive personality. You need to watch when you start to get obsessive.
I'm not obsessive.
You tried to squeeze the Monster Energy Drink sweatshirt, in case the fabric had caffeine in it, when we were at the mall.
That just makes SENSE. I was testing it.
You keep sulking to friends about Shutter Island being delayed, and how you could have seen it this weekend. You've told many people. Repeatedly. And you've watched the Nightmare on Elm Street trailer more times than I care to admit. Now you're getting that way about random shit, like you do when you're stressed. And then we have insomnia.
You can't prove that. There's no evidence. You are a LIAR.
Go. To. Sleep.
OOOH. My rats are snuggling. They LOVE each other. Hi, ratses!
Great.
I'm totally not going to sleep. Sleep is for THE WEAK.
