Were I Unwed I Would Take You In A Manly Fashion.
In which ElleVee:
- Had better not ever meet Zack Snyder, because she will scream and cry and curse Blu-Ray, and that would be awkward.
- Likes some cool tattoos.
- Thinks the Pac-Man candy holders are cooler than the candies themselves.
- Predicts death for whoever makes The Good, The Bad, & The Ugly comic.
- Finds proof that real life imitates cartoons.
- Snuggles Mondays.
- Wants to chill with James Joyce.
- Almost finishes her Vampire Novel, so directs you to other vampire franchises.
- Has found her career as a Brandystripper.
- Cannot wait for the Spiderman Musical to destroy civilization as we know it.
- Won't bother trying to make her own sunscreen, because she will accidentally make a chemical that destroys the world.
- Is still scared shitless of Are You Afraid of the Dark?.
- Gives up on all network news.
- Thinks that maybe Banksy is a SECRET ninja.
- Tried to make a joke about Chris Pine and Shatner, but it just got kind of gross and uncomfortable, so she let it go.
- New Blog Entry: Bruce Campbell Is The Reason Why Waldo Is Hiding.
-
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif)
elle_vee- July 2nd, 2009
Bruce Campbell Is The Reason Why Waldo Is Hiding.
In which ElleVee:
- Cheerfully predicts Bruce Campbell enacting bloody retribution.
- Fails to imagine anything more perfect than Sylar and a kitty.
- Doesn't get why werewolves always look slimy in bad werewolf movies.
- Throws up in her mind over Star Trek porn. BAD Star Trek porn.
- Asks many pertinent questions about Torchwood.
- Hates CNN and their bullshit slogans.
- Automatically likes anyone who makes Bill O'Reilly drool on himself.
- Will get over her fear of falling from a great height just to go to the new observation deck on the Sear's Tower.
- Is perfectly willing to be a bride of convenience, for Nintendo Shoes.
- Would appreciate it if the right-wing hateful lunatics stopped killing people.
- Thinks Terry Gilliam needs a hug.
- Wants ALL the Harry Potter stuff, and YOU can't have any.
- Kindly suggests that if you buy someone the Pink Ouija board, you can fuck right off.
- Still misses Christopher Eccleston as the Doctor. Even if she does love David Tennant. TEAM NINE.
- Answers a troubling question about the gaseous emissions of birds.
- New Blog Entry: Bruce Campbell Can Watch A Season Of '24' In Just 3 Hours.
-
- elle_vee
- June 26th, 2009
Bruce Campbell Can Watch A Season Of '24' In Just 3 Hours.
In which ElleVee:
- Imagines a life with Bruce Campbell and alcohol.
- Asks for suggestions for her list of Fandom Rules (email her at elle.veev@gmail.com)
- Can't get over how freaking WEIRD yesterday was.
- Relies far too much on Warren Ellis for normalcy in her life.
- Does not understand this tattoo.
- Has a violence fetish, it appears.
- Wishes whoever wrote Indexed would instruct her on how to live her life.
- Can always depend on Will Arnett to make her life better.
- Appreciates anyone who tells Amazon to screw off.
- Spent time that she will never get back looking at Bruno's hairy bull-penis.
- Loves Nathan Fillion, especially naked and/or in comic form.
- Will pay any amount of money if it means Chris Pine screams.
- Learned about The IT Crowd from her uncle and cousin, who are made of win, in part because they're English.
- Can think of nothing in life that wouldn't be improved by a shiv cosy, and neither can you.
- New Blog Entry: They Were Little Geisha Dolls With Big Heads That Wobbled!
-
- elle_vee
- June 23rd, 2009
They Were Little Geisha Dolls With Big Heads That Wobbled!
In which ElleVee:
- Wishes she was as bad-ass as Inara.
- Appreciates Wikipedia.
- Admires anyone who combines hot tubs, alcohol, and pointless violence.
- Wishes Meryl Streep and Joss Whedon would join forces to save the world.
- Already has Child Protection Services watching out for her future children, due to her conviction that they will play with Rorschach ponies and sleep in Klingon cribs.
- Never trusted Doug Funnie.
- Wonders what qualifications you actually NEED to work for Fox News.
- Despises the internet for inflicting knowledge of Megan Fox's freak thumbs upon her mind.
- Will have the most awesome kitchen accessories in the world, one day.
- Shamelessly posts a naked picture of Hugh Laurie.
- Shouldn't read political posts in the morning, because they drive her to drink.
- Needs to stop reading horror stories about plane incidents.
- Would not date someone who owned penis workout equipment, but would MARRY the man who followed the Tenacious D philosophy of Cock Push-Ups.
- Has dibs on Woody Harrelson for her Zombie Fighting Team of Win.
- Will always have a soft spot for koalas, in honor of Mitch Hedberg, who was too cool for this world, and died in New Jersey, which makes her feel GUILTY, even though she was living in New York at the time.
- New Blog Entry: Mom After All These Years God’s Not Going To Take A Call From You.
-
- elle_vee
- June 20th, 2009
Mom After All These Years God’s Not Going To Take A Call From You.
In which ElleVee:
- Continues to wait patiently for Arrested Development: The Movie.
- Will be shocked if Will Ferrell ISN'T cast as Waldo in the abomination of Where's Waldo?.
- Learned today that her reproductive organs prevent her from liking anything cool or fun, and wishes Fiona from Burn Notice would teach the makers of these books a lesson, with VIOLENCE.
- Is marrying someone who she has never met because he somersaulted out of an airplane.
- Is very proud of herself for calmly negating the idea of a Teen Wolf remake, instead of screaming obscenities about dogfucking imbeciles who wouldn't know a good film from an infected rectal wart, because she is a lady of fine breeding and demure manners.
- Is also marrying Zachary Quinto, for more reasons than mere somersaulting, but mainly because she wants a Star Trek wedding cake and if she's marrying him it will seem cute instead of alarming and uncomfortable.
- Wants V to deserve all the love she wants to give it.
- Thinks that Sean Hannity is in love with Sarah Palin, and that their child would be called Damien, and it would be Year One (anyone who gets the reference gets an internet cookie).
- Thinks she deserves sexy minions.
- Would be amazed if Bill O'Reilly could go a whole day WITHOUT lying and destroying her already non-existent faith in humanity.
- Is willing to have her bra explode, for Russell Brand.
- Is pretty sure that cute zombies violate some primal law of nature.
- Wants a baby zombie panda.
- Loves Christopher Eccleston, but desperately wants to get him a new agent who isn't made of Suck.
- Does not lose her mind over the idea of a tarantula in her underwear, although she COULD.
- Understands what you're all saying, and STILL finds the idea of the pilot dying mid-flight to be the scariest shit ever.
- New Blog Entry: It's Toe-Tappingly Tragic!
-
- elle_vee
- June 20th, 2009
It's Toe-Tappingly Tragic!
In which ElleVee:
- Apologizes for being so cranky.
- Thinks there is a law against remaking Hitchcock.
- Wants a Star Trek communicator.
- Thinks that reality TV show go away forever and stop bothering her.
- Has a theory that The New York Times is made of fail.
- Tries to point out the inherent flaws of buying something to support DIY.
- Posts nekkid pictures of Bruno.
- Laughs at abortion protestors, which is just ASKING for trouble.
- Won't it be humiliating when all of us are killed by BACTERIA?
- Believes with all her heart that her father would make a booger ball.
- Thinks there is entirely too much fuss over peanut butter.
- Wants zombie mania to infect her.
- Knows that all moose are named 'Walter.'
- New Blog Entry: Bruce Campbell Puts The 'Laughter' In 'Manslaughter.'
-
- elle_vee
- June 16th, 2009
Bruce Campbell Puts The 'Laughter' In 'Manslaughter.'
In which ElleVee:
- Knows enough to never question Bruce Campbell.
- Spends far too much time yelling at CNN.
- Is amazed by Twitter's coverage of the Iranian election.
- Would rather not have mangled people on top of her wedding cake.
- Just doesn't care to pay for Hulu.
- Will link to virtually anything Cory Doctorow deems interesting.
- Plans a barbecuing ORGY this summer.
- Doubts she could make Bill O'Reilly look any worse than he already does.
- Lets the people who were helped by Dr. Tiller speak for themselves.
- Is much more upset about losing her Marlboro Lights than she lets on.
- Is on Team Sam: But If Bill Is Available I'm Sure We Could Work Out An Alternating Schedule, in the True Blood fandom.
- Has found Paris Hilton's vibrator from Repo! The Genetic Opera.
- Now has Real Science to back her up when she gets drunk and starts lecturing on the zombies.
- Ruins caterpillars and butterflies for everyone.
- Really did like The Web Planet episode of Doctor Who.
- Holds a grudge.
- Confuses Rimmel with Max Factor, dislikes Kate Moss, and really just wants to buy a lot more makeup.
- New Blog Entry: One Of You Is Gonna Fall & Die & I'm Not Cleaning It Up!
-
- elle_vee
- June 14th, 2009
One Of You Is Gonna Fall & Die & I'm Not Cleaning It Up!
In which ElleVee:
- Formulates most of her opinions based on Firefly.
- Has uncanny recall for movie trailers from the nineties.
- Thinks that there is no crime so great as mowing a public lawn.
- Defends the honor and legacy of Don Knotts, because he was Don Knotts.
- Would never, EVER fuck with J.D. Salinger.
- Wants a Star Trek corset, and DAMN the consequences.
- Still can't decide if she liked Repo! The Genetic Opera because she was drunk and couldn't focus on much beside The Graverobber's Voice and Paris Hilton, which caused her to repeatedly Tweet, 'OMG Paris Hilton!' because she could not remember that she was in the movie.
- Continues mourning over Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles.
- Hates the NY Post.
- Can find better ways to burn calories than twitching.
- Adores crazy ol' Pat Buchanan.
- Cannot believe her species will be eliminated by giant jellyfish.
- Has many ideas surrounding glow-in-the-dark condoms.
- Will make you zombie jelly, if you buy her this mold.
- Wants all furniture to eat itself.
- New Blog Entry: Bruce Campbell Once Won A Game Of Connect Four In 3 Moves.
-
- elle_vee
- June 10th, 2009
Bruce Campbell Once Won A Game Of Connect Four In 3 Moves.
In which ElleVee:
- Loves books and bookcases and will probably buy an abacus soon.
- Has a fangirl orgasm over Barack Obama meeting Zachary Quinto.
- Is very disappointed with Ridley Scott.
- Has hope for the return of Reaper.
- Cannot begin to verbalize her issues with the 'journalism' of Sean Hannity.
- Doesn't understand why you people can't tell when she's NOT being sarcastic.
- Is relieved that G. Gordon Liddy is becoming even more batshit insane, and that life is as it should be.
- Can't figure out why more people don't find Hunter S. Thompson to be bangin' hot.
- Figures that if we're all going to die in about a hundred years, we might as well have serious 100-year party in Jersey.
- New Blog Entry: Bruce Campbell Can Slam Revolving Doors.
-
- elle_vee
- June 4th, 2009
Bruce Campbell Can Slam Revolving Doors.
In which ElleVee:
- Loves Bruce Campbell.
- Wants to eat a grilled cheesecake sandwich, even though it would kill her.
- Finds it hard to believe that people still give a shit about Archie.
- Likes children, when they belong to other people and do incredibly stupid things.
- Thinks her blog is possessed, or psychic, or just really likes Russell Brand.
- Feels the oppression of white males.
- Apparently missed something at BookExpo America.
- Studies the deep philosophical implications of pouring milk on Zachary Quinto.
- Asks Tony Scott, very nicely, not to fuck up Warriors.
- Has no problem posting naked pictures of Alan Tudyk.
- Celebrates the birth of Russell Brand and, by extension, his Sex Hair.
- Simply cannot watch Fringe, due to the time/space continuum.
- New Blog Entry: I Got Stabbed! Right Here!
-
- elle_vee
- June 3rd, 2009
- New Blog Entry: Alan Moore Doesn't Read Books...
-
- elle_vee
- May 24th, 2009
