Were I Unwed I Would Take You In A Manly Fashion.
In which ElleVee:
- Had better not ever meet Zack Snyder, because she will scream and cry and curse Blu-Ray, and that would be awkward.
- Likes some cool tattoos.
- Thinks the Pac-Man candy holders are cooler than the candies themselves.
- Predicts death for whoever makes The Good, The Bad, & The Ugly comic.
- Finds proof that real life imitates cartoons.
- Snuggles Mondays.
- Wants to chill with James Joyce.
- Almost finishes her Vampire Novel, so directs you to other vampire franchises.
- Has found her career as a Brandystripper.
- Cannot wait for the Spiderman Musical to destroy civilization as we know it.
- Won't bother trying to make her own sunscreen, because she will accidentally make a chemical that destroys the world.
- Is still scared shitless of Are You Afraid of the Dark?.
- Gives up on all network news.
- Thinks that maybe Banksy is a SECRET ninja.
- Tried to make a joke about Chris Pine and Shatner, but it just got kind of gross and uncomfortable, so she let it go.
- New Blog Entry: Hey What Kinda Party Is This? There's No Booze & Only 1 Hooker.
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![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif)
elle_vee- July 1st, 2009
Hey What Kinda Party Is This? There's No Booze & Only 1 Hooker.
In which ElleVee:
- Will one day open a daycare based on the teachings of Bender from Futurama.
- Believes in your First Amendment right to be a complete asshole, but humbly suggests that first you figure out how to use your Email.
- Would pay serious money to watch Sarah Palin & Barack Obama in a foot-race.
- Wishes her mayor would wander around naked & drunk.
- Doesn't want to stick a tiny dog in her head.
- Understands that if you panic in crisis situations, you might need a tattoo to remind yourself of how to react.
- Laughs at the laughing apes.
- No longer finds Michael Bay and his bullshit shenanigans amusing, OK?
- Needs you to buy this dress for her, & if you don't, you hate America.
- Likes the idea of little adorable children singing songs she enjoys.
- Posts ANOTHER link to the International Society of Supervillains, & promises she is not getting paid for this advertising.
- Explains the horrors that will be visited upon you if you do not vote for Watchmen.
- Would like to meet the person who would let Bruno fix their TV.
- Is sad for the rat tattoo of rape.
- Proves that Obama is a bad president because of what's in his tummy.
- Kind of farts out on the Comics section.
- Finds a really creepy pool hall.
- Offers a clever way to catch yourself a sexy vampire.
- Likes when cool stuff joins forces with other cool stuff, especially when it involves Dave Eggers & Spike Jonze & Where The Wild Things Are.
- New Blog Entry: Bruce Campbell Can Watch A Season Of '24' In Just 3 Hours.
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- elle_vee
- June 26th, 2009
Bruce Campbell Can Watch A Season Of '24' In Just 3 Hours.
In which ElleVee:
- Imagines a life with Bruce Campbell and alcohol.
- Asks for suggestions for her list of Fandom Rules (email her at elle.veev@gmail.com)
- Can't get over how freaking WEIRD yesterday was.
- Relies far too much on Warren Ellis for normalcy in her life.
- Does not understand this tattoo.
- Has a violence fetish, it appears.
- Wishes whoever wrote Indexed would instruct her on how to live her life.
- Can always depend on Will Arnett to make her life better.
- Appreciates anyone who tells Amazon to screw off.
- Spent time that she will never get back looking at Bruno's hairy bull-penis.
- Loves Nathan Fillion, especially naked and/or in comic form.
- Will pay any amount of money if it means Chris Pine screams.
- Learned about The IT Crowd from her uncle and cousin, who are made of win, in part because they're English.
- Can think of nothing in life that wouldn't be improved by a shiv cosy, and neither can you.
- New Blog Entry: Bruce Campbell Doesn't Cheat Death. He Wins Fair & Square.
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- elle_vee
- June 20th, 2009
Bruce Campbell Doesn't Cheat Death. He Wins Fair & Square.
In which ElleVee:
- Is not surprised that Bruce Campbell will save Obama, and America, and the universe.
- Casts a Freakangels movie in her mind.
- Would not like a recession haircut.
- Hates Sex and the City and, by proxy, all fashion that reminds her of that show.
- Wants Alan Tudyk to make everything better.
- Loves TV theme songs.
- Can't help but think only a jock asshole would want their beer cooler to play, I don't know, Metallica.
- Constructs an elaborate back-story behind a Watchmen drawing.
- Likes meat, but does not want a meat tattoo.
- Can find no snark for bacon-filled waffles.
- Does not understand why Warren Ellis does not return her blood-soaked crazy adoration.
- Refuses to follow the directions on soda.
- Wishes Ryan Gosling was always near her.
- Loses all intellect and typing skills over the new Sherlock Holmes poster of Robert Downey, Jr.
- New Blog Entry: It's Toe-Tappingly Tragic!
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- elle_vee
- June 20th, 2009
It's Toe-Tappingly Tragic!
In which ElleVee:
- Apologizes for being so cranky.
- Thinks there is a law against remaking Hitchcock.
- Wants a Star Trek communicator.
- Thinks that reality TV show go away forever and stop bothering her.
- Has a theory that The New York Times is made of fail.
- Tries to point out the inherent flaws of buying something to support DIY.
- Posts nekkid pictures of Bruno.
- Laughs at abortion protestors, which is just ASKING for trouble.
- Won't it be humiliating when all of us are killed by BACTERIA?
- Believes with all her heart that her father would make a booger ball.
- Thinks there is entirely too much fuss over peanut butter.
- Wants zombie mania to infect her.
- Knows that all moose are named 'Walter.'
- New Blog Entry: Also I Can Kill You With My Brain.
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- elle_vee
- June 20th, 2009
Also I Can Kill You With My Brain.
In which ElleVee:
- Wants to dress like a hipster pirate in honor of Lady Gaga.
- Hates and fears cameras.
- Posts pictures of Watchmen stuff, because she loves them.
- Needs to know what this is a tattoo OF.
- Dearly loves the person who invented honey-baked ham cupcakes.
- Doesn't want Pete Wentz anywhere near her damn comics.
- Remembers babysitting without fondness.
- Thinks there should be more melding of Star Trek and Monty Python in life.
- Hates stupid people and thinks that frankly if you're dumb enough to smoke because Wolverine does, you probably DESERVE to be weeded out of the gene pool.
- Is not ass enough to question Roald Dahl.
- Wants to Air Guitar her way into heaven.
- Calls dibs on Zachary Quinto.
- New Blog Entry: We're In The Middle Of Nowhere. Which Is The Safest Part Of Nowhere.-
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- elle_vee
- June 15th, 2009
We're In The Middle Of Nowhere. Which Is The Safest Part Of Nowhere.
In which ElleVee:
- Tries to silence Fry until Futurama is actually ON the air.
- Thinks her words are brilliant and that 'funemployment' is the most evil word of the year.
- Refuses to believe makeup is hurting her, because it is fun and would NEVER betray me like that.
- Tries to explain her fascination/complicated love/hate relationship with Lady Gaga, but really that hair sums it up.
- Does not want ANYTHING crawling around inside her, except radioactive powers.
- Has a sort of psychotic bitch-session over how nothing Watchmen-related happens in New Jersey.
- Will never love a tattoo that raises the question, 'Shading or back-hair?'
- Loves Russell Brand, still.
- Does not plan on eating the marshmallow hamburger, especially because the meat bit looks like an ORGAN.
- Enjoyed free tacos 35 minutes ago.
- Needs to finish True Blood season 1, so she can get on with season 2, and has decided Sam is her favorite, but Bill is a sold second, and tat is VERY HONORABLE.
- Has given up on the Spider-Man franchise
- Loved Up and Ed Asner, and life, briefly.
- Fully expects some sort of hate-mail for this, because it deals with abortion, even if she WAS remarkably neutral, especially for her.
- Takes books and ends up talking about Watchmen and Heroes, which is how most conversations with her tend to go.
- New Blog Entry: Emotions Are Dumb & Should Be Hated.-
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- elle_vee
- June 10th, 2009
- New Blog Entry: Asking Someone To Repeat A Phrase You'd Not Only Heard Very Clearly...
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- elle_vee
- June 6th, 2009
Asking Someone To Repeat A Phrase You'd Not Only Heard Very Clearly But Were Also Exceedingly Angry About Was Around Defcon II In The Lexicon Of Squabble.
In which ElleVee:
- Thinks Terry Pratchett should have his own church, and it will be built like a giant tortoise.
- Has accepted her love of bacon.
- Offers advice on how to get the best price for your children.
- Is crazy in love with Russell Brand, and will maybe be making a Sim of him soon.
- Tries to deal with her tempestuous relationship with Urban Outfitters, but MC Hammer pants are NOT helping.
- Likes Shakira, but not really for her music at all.
- Wants to die on a flying motorcycle.
- Will not be forgiving David Tennant for leaving Doctor Who, no matter HOW sexy he looks in glasses.
- Likes the Silk Spectre II Watchmen toy, but does not pretend for one second that she has any interest in ANY toy besides Tiny Rorschach and his Gloves of Love.
- Now has to explain to an 11 year old why threesomes with relatives are unwholesome and frowned upon in most cultures.
- Can no longer defend her home state.
- Laughs endlessly at Happy Toe and Sad Toe.
- New Blog Entry: Bruce Campbell Can Slam Revolving Doors.
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- elle_vee
- June 4th, 2009
Bruce Campbell Can Slam Revolving Doors.
In which ElleVee:
- Loves Bruce Campbell.
- Wants to eat a grilled cheesecake sandwich, even though it would kill her.
- Finds it hard to believe that people still give a shit about Archie.
- Likes children, when they belong to other people and do incredibly stupid things.
- Thinks her blog is possessed, or psychic, or just really likes Russell Brand.
- Feels the oppression of white males.
- Apparently missed something at BookExpo America.
- Studies the deep philosophical implications of pouring milk on Zachary Quinto.
- Asks Tony Scott, very nicely, not to fuck up Warriors.
- Has no problem posting naked pictures of Alan Tudyk.
- Celebrates the birth of Russell Brand and, by extension, his Sex Hair.
- Simply cannot watch Fringe, due to the time/space continuum.
- New Blog Entry: Alan Moore's Tears Cure Cancer. Too Bad He Has Never Cried.
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- elle_vee
- April 28th, 2009
In which ElleVee:
- Would like you to consider the exciting and positive world of Twilight contact lenses, to cure the aching loneliness gnawing at your heart, like a WEREWOLF
- Admits that, maybe, sometimes honesty isn't the best policy, particularly on Valentine's Day, and particularly when you are an asshole
- Has friends who raise Puzzling But Uncomfortable Truths That Are Lies & Yet Kind Of Make Sense, all because of fashion
- Loves Sherlock Holmes in comic form, but secretly wants to to co-opt Leah Moore's life (or at least the part where she gets PAID to write COMICS)
- Does like Tim Roth an awful lot, and enjoys his new show even if it IS 'House solves crimes,' but still thinks that maybe the President talking about the future of the country is a smidge more important... No? OK
- Laughs at an article about the recession, then cries because it's all real and she made that joke for YEARS about how she always wanted to live in a Steinbeck novel, only she REREAD The Grapes of Wrath and remembered how MISERABLY everything goes, and the jokes on her now, isn't it?
- Wants makeup, but somehow still manages to relate it to comics, because that is how her brain works
- Will never have tattoo regret, because she is not an ass
- Is starting a religion based on someone's tattoo
- Loses all faith in Orson Scott Card, and people in general
- Cannot talk about Russell Brand without being reduced to a giggling, hormonal puddle of love
- Thinks that maybe bacon is not as awesome as everyone seems to think, even though she loves it and eats it every day, pretty much
- Supports mouth-punching
- EXPOSES the conspiracy to use swine flu to distract everyone from the ZOMBIES
- Loves Bai Ling and her Band Aids of Truth
- Thinks Bai Ling & Bill O'Reilly should join together and make the Baby of Everlasting Wisdom
- Supports everything Michael Cera does, unless he stops Arrested Development: The Movie, from existing, and then shit goes DOWN
- Finds herself speechless, no doubt because she has not yet bought herself a ticket to heaven, and will not be allowed in the Land of Milk & Honey, because she is cheap, or something, WTF MAN?!
